Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
