Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
