was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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