Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
