please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize