Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
