I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
