He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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