you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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