so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
