FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
