how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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