I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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