The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
