I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
