Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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