Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
