Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
