i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
