There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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