we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
