have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize