I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
