just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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