do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
