My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
