office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
