turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
