yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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