return my video game
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
