How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
