Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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