he thought i was a dude.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
