i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
