"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
