i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need to calm my uterus...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
