I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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