i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
