Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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