she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
