guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
