I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
