I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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