last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
