she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So many bounce houses so little time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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