eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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