I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish you could order shots online.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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