I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
