Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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