YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
