i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
