I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
