At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry about my life...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
