so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
