Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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