there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
