hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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