I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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