It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
